Transparency.

Sometimes I wonder, why do I need a really long time to think and make up words?

I feel sorry for myself, for not being aritculate. If only the brain works faster, I am pretty sure I won't be losing all my ideas to blog. Honestly, there's a lot to talk about. But this slowness have shoo-ed the ideas away from me. And sometimes I just couldn't find the right words to say things. Hah, thats another thing about me. I need to expand my own vocabulary. Darn it.

But sometimes I feel that its just me, blocking myself from blurting out everything I feel. Probably things are meant to be just secrets. Or maybe I feel so insecure if I make it public. I am too afraid to share.

Hah. Maybe I should have brought a diary with me wherever I go. And start to write whenever I feel like writing. So that I won't have this problem anymore.

But suddenly I'll start to think more about other stupid consequences I may have to face if I decided to keep a diary with me.

Maybe I should start an online diary. More secured. I think.

But then, I tend to forget what I want to write; I do not carry my laptop everywhere. And lately I have been disconnecting myself from this world. Rasa malas nak bukak laptop.

How I wish I find it easy to talk to someone, and have that person to record whatever I say. Haha.

Oh maybe I should start a voice-log. Record whatever I said.

But I don't like my recorded voice. It sounded weird. Maybe I sound weird its just that I never realize that.

*sigh*

I cannot decide. Sheesh.

If only I don't like to think too much.