Maybe if I gamble, I'll be terrible at it. 

I bet. If a gambler knows, or have a feeling that he will not win at the end, he'll just stop. Maybe he'll try another day, or just go to another different game. 

But here I am. I am in a game, and I am gambling. Even when I know I am losing. I am pretty sure of it. I am at the losing end at least. Or probably I already lost the game. 

I am still trying to win it. I am holding on to the hope that is most likely be false. A false hope.

I don't know. To say that I'll win a jackpot sounded like an overstatement. 

Maybe to me, it is a jackpot. Well yeah. It is.