**omg this post is quite long... so harap maklum ;)**
It was raining during the take off. Radiohead's Last Flowers till the Hospital was playing at that time. Layan giler. The clouds are pretty thick today. Ah, it was heavily raining since four! How I wished I was in my room soaking up the smell while lying down on my bed. But that's okay. Anyway, looking at these clouds make me wonder how nice would it be if I can skydive now. Although it's scary but I guess that's the thrill I've been looking for - surprising myself as I can't really see what's down there when these clouds are covering the whole sky, making the earth hidden. Maybe I will feel that I jump higher.
And I have never thought, or maybe I have but never register it in my head, on how great it is to be flying like a bird through the clouds, or maybe like how we always see what the Greek Gods were doing - sleeping on them. I rarely sit near the window, often I opt for the aisle seat - choosing convenience over the fun of letting your imagination run wild around these beautiful clouds or scenery outside. Playing in my iPod, the Latika's Theme to accompany this trip is a very good choice too. I love that song cuz it makes me feel calm & contented. Like life is always beautiful.
How I wish. kan?
Anyway, this fella sitting next to Luqman is reading 120 Malay Movies. That book looks interesting. Feel like asking him about the book, but then, he's a stranger, and I am one (to him) too. I feel a bit shy(well I'm always shy when it comes to strangers! :P) plus, a stranger - I still have that "never talk to strangers" vibe in me so yes. Ended up, I just observe the book from a far. I think I will look for that book when I get the chance ;)
Talking to strangers. Sometimes I do have that barrier, but sometimes I can go pass it, like during long journeys to Wellington/ from Wellington to KL, I had some conversations with the passengers. The longest I had was with a french man (3 yrs ago?), as at that point of time it was just me and him sharing one aisle so if he didn't talk to the beautiful flight attendants, he'll be talking to me. Can't remember much on things we talked about, maybe one of the conversations that we talked about was about movies. He recommended me to watch this one Michael Moore's documentary; not the 9/11 one though. Maybe I'll give that one a shot. One day. Lately I have less time to watch dvds. Sad, really. Cuz right now I have listed a few dvds that I want to watch, or rewatch.
That includes Inglourious Basterds, Sin City, Jeux d'enfants (as usual!), The Men Who Stare at Goats, Whip It, Adam, My Name is Khan, Fantastic Mr Fox, The Cove, and the most current one is Valentines Day. Just came up with that one cuz the talk to strangers on the plane thing was also one of the most meaningful part of the movie. That's like the last movie I watched in NZ, before I head home. Gosh rinduu Reading Cinemas!
These list do not include the ones I wanna watch on cinemas. LOL.
Anyway back to our topic. Random thoughts on the airplane.
Once I blogged about wanting to watch the planes take off. Do you know where can I do that here in Malaysia? Either Sepang or Subang I don't care. I just wanna have a day spent watching the planes took off. Maybe that's a bit dull, and boring after a few flights. But I don't know. I still want to do it.
Actually theres a lot on my to-do list. Sheesh. A lot to achieve, yet so little time...
Speaking of which, I read one of the articles in Cleo Magazine that was about achievers & people who seek for a contented life. It highlights that there are people who is never satisfied and always looking for more, and people who always seem to be contented & happy with their lives, with what they have. This always make me wonder, where am I along that line? Do I look for contented life, or always something more?
Actually I never thought that we can categorized people in that way.
Okay like me, I always wanted to achieve more sometimes. But at some other times I told myself "I don't want anything more, I just want to feel contented with what I have. I am tired of chasing and chasing, it's time to settle with what I have... etc".
So I know I am still at the unbalanced stage. Still looking for that point where I can say "ah, I am happy. Let's just stop now". Or maybe like I aim for something, then when I think I achieved it, then I stopped for awhile just to balance everything out, then I move up to another step.
As you can see, that is basically what everyone is doing. To move up you definitely have to have that push. and you must also feel grateful once you achieved something. and you will find that point of feeling contented.n Happiness...
But now, to categorize the extremists. Either one end or to the other. I guess theres always over achievers, and yang the more mellow people, all they want is feeling happy. As for myself, I do realized that I always want something more, and for me that's not a bad thing, right? Well, to feel contented all the time can be pretty boring. Thats how I see it. Ha, you can see now why some people become over achievers kn. ehe. But as long as I know how to accept if things didn't go as planned, I think I'm still ok.
Hurm. That seems to be the problem now. Not knowing how to accept, how to handle that kind of situation. For now I always tell myself not to care so much. Just be a lil bit ignorant. And just concentrate on things that are within my control. Not easy to do this, I wonder how some people can do it effortlessly. Well things like these take some time. I have to be patient.
Anyway, there's also a quiz in that article to categorize yourself, and from that quiz, I am in the middle. Not an over achiever, and at the same time I don't feel contented with life just yet. That sounds promising kan? Really hope I can maintain it that way.
hurm and maybe to keep this as reminder of the day:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy
Leona Lewis' Happy
I'll put this up on my playlist later. Together with Latika's theme.
As of now, I am happy to see these green paddy fields from above. Its so beautiful! with the scattered rumah2 kampung, and this morning sun shining so brightly here. Ah its not raining here so thats good :D. I am glad to be back in Kedah, and to see my grandparents. I miss them so much :)
p/s: for so long I haven't been blogging. And I actually have some posts pending. Well maybe I will concentrate on one first - talking about inception. you know, that movie of the year?
