What lies before us and behind us are tiny matters when compared to what lies within us.

0713 from farahmexx on 8tracks Radio.

Again, I left this blog with all the virtual cobwebs for the past 2 months.
It was supposed to be a breezy two-months, before the usual busy-ness comes.

However, things got really crazy, I don't even have much time for a lot of things. Including this.

And I somehow over-worked myself, I started July with 2-days MC.

So yeah. Let me pick up my pace again.

For now, enjoy the playlist I made above.

You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.

There's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond

From black dust

It's hard to know

It can become

If you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just promise me you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? Ohh

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

 

For you, whomever you may be. And I hope you're doing fine. 

It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance. You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work. But you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Sometimes you just have to go for it!

Empati Tamako - The Trees & The Wild

mereka akan berkata

kesedihanmu akan pergi

terhempas angin selatan

yang penuh debu

terbawa sampai

ufuk timur

terjauh

dan kau akan terdiam

bertanya dalam hati

kapan ini ‘kan

berakhir dan terbawa sampai

ufuk timur

terjauh

dan kau

pernah melangkahkan kaki

dan sejengkal sadar

dan melantunkan

terang yang kau dambakan,

hilanglah semua yang kau tanya

I first got to know the band, and this song from Urbanscapes. Not knowing the title of the song I began looking for it all over the internet - and I failed.

Until today.

Finally found it.

All the feelings I had when I first watched this came back rushing in. To be honest, by far, that's the best live performance I've ever witness my whole life. Maybe cuz I came with no expectation. I didn't even know they're performing.

I have no words to explain how I felt that night. It's just beyond words.

Then now that I found the song, I can really listen to the lyrics.  Whoa.

It's one of those songs which explains exactly how you feel or what you're going through, at that exact point of time.

No wonder.

Don’t be afraid to move out of your comfort zone. Some of your best life experiences and opportunities will transpire only after you dare to lose.

It's all about trying to get myself comfortable in the mud, trying to ignore the smell of smoke/weed, trying to fight for a space where there's not many taller people blocking my view, trying to relax while holding two heavy bags and standing for 3 hours not being able to move my feet a lot

and

trying to hold my tears from running down my cheeks.

It wasn't a comfortable situation but

I still enjoyed every bit of the show. It was magical, awesome. And trying to pinch myself, or ask myself again and again "is this really happening?". Waited for this ever since I found my love for this band back in 2009, and there you go, they came.

Whether closing my eyes to get the feel of the songs, or get myself mesmerized by the visuals - simple yet I can't take my eyes off them. Everything is just so perfect.

It has been a very rough and emotional months, especially during this last quarter of 2012. I've come to a point where I have all of my 2012 nightmares came true. Then at the same time there's quite a number of happier things happened/happening and I am a part of them; including this particular event. Alhamdulillah.

And through out, their songs are some of those essentials which have been accompanying me, thick and thin.

These mixed feelings really stirred up especially when they played Glosoli, Hoppipolla & Meo Bloonasir. Thinking of what I've associated them with - be it people, events, places, wishes & dreams. Wishing for the impossible to come true, though I know it won't.

But I told myself not to cry last night.

I am not really sure why. Although I think it's pretty obvious.

Maybe I need more time.

However. Thank you thank you thank you. Terima kasih. Takk Sigur Ros. 

Thank you for everything. And especially, thank you for last night.  

And Urbanscapes is one of my ultimate getaways of 2012. Although it's only in Padang Astaka, PJ. Let's just leave it at that. 

Go do, you'll know how to, Just let yourself, fall into landslide

Currently on repeat: Jonsi's Go album

You always know how to carve a smile on my face. A genuine one.

Well thank you, Jonsi.

I am hopeful.

Amin.

Cause ever if my heart should break, You'd be the best mistake I ever made

Just for once, would you let me be the one?

Currently listening to Midnight Youth's Just for Once

At the first sign of winter's cold I took your hand in mine

At the first sign of autumn leaves you took these eyes and made them shine

Just for once...

Would you let me be the one? Would you let me be the one?

At the first sign of summer's sun we sat down, watched those waves
But at the first sign of bad weather you left me searching again

And I wish just for once...

We'd be out of our minds, we'd risk all we could ever know
We'd be running so fast, god couldn't set us to stone
 Would you let me be the one? Would you let me be the one?

On the night of our lives you saw straight through these pair of lies
And you gave me the keys to your car and we drove off for miles and miles
And we looked out on those city lights and we shouted out, to the stars

Just for once...

We'd be out of our minds, we'd risk all we could ever know
We'd be running so fast, god couldn't set us to stone

Would you let me be the one? Would you let me be the one?

I wish just for once, I wish just for once, I wish just for once, let me hold you love
Let me be, let me be the one

Just for once...

I wish you bluebirds in the spring, To give your heart a song to sing, And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love

Currently listening to: Rachael Yamagata's I Wish You Love

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love

But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love.

You never really can fix my heart.

Currently on repeat: Demi Lovato's Fix a Heart

It's probably what's best for you
I only want the best for you
And if I'm not the best, then you're stuck

I try to sever ties and I,
Ended up with wounds to bind
Like you're pouring salt in my cuts

And I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can't bandage the damage,
You never really can fix a heart

Even though I know what's wrong,
How can I be so sure
If you never say what you feel, feel?

I must have held your hand so tight,
You didn't have the will to fight
I guess you needed more time to heal

Baby I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can't bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart

You must be a miracle walker,
Swearin' up and down,
You can't fix what's been broken, yeah
Please don't get my hopes up, no no
Baby, tell me how could you,
Be so cruel?

It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts

Baby, I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can't bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
Baby, I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start

'Cause you can't bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
Oh no no no no
You never really can fix a heart
Oh no no no no
You never really can fix heart

You never really can fix my heart


T_T

kau bukan milikku, dan engkau pun tahu, kau bukan milikku.

Currently on repeat : Yuna's Penakut. 

At one point of time, I know everyone would have this thought to at least cross their mind:

1. Wishing that they could turn back time. So they could do things differently, or even, just to experience it another one more time.
2. Wishing things were simpler than ever. No complications, no challenges, just a simple path.
3. Wishing that its easy to say whatever we want to say. No holding back, no hurting anyone, just acceptance and words are just, words.
4. Wishing to just grab whatever we want. Just get it. You don't have to consider other people, or the surroundings, or any other factors that hold you back. Just follow your heart and reach for the things you desire in life.
5. Wishing how things were different. Maybe you are not what you are now, maybe you are doing something else for a living, or you are just a different person altogether.

I know. The what-ifs. Ungrateful thoughts. I hate myself whenever these crossed my mind somehow, because, I don't really feel the guilt for having them. I just let myself think, and wonder, and dream about them.

I guess its just natural.

All you have to do is to remember that, Allah have greater things for you, Allah have faith in you that He gave you whatever you have now. Keep believing that everything happened for a reason. And your life is gonna turn out to be great, no matter what you're going through. You are strong enough to be in the situation you are in now. Everything is just a test, and all you have to prove to Him is that, you have enough faith and love for Him that you keep on heading up on the straight path.

On a random note, I was at Yuna's DFP concert last night. It was spectacular. Just a simple setting, no special effects or gimmicks. Just Yuna, her band, and us. It felt personal, I guess the set list that she made for us, how she chose what to sing and the sequence of it. Its like a story.

And her version of penakut this time, is the best. Always have been my favorite anyway. Ehe. Any version of this song will definitely be my favorite. And decorate too. I think both songs was delivered beautifully. And she almost made me cry!

Actually all of her songs are awesome. I guess especially for girls, they can relate to all of them kot. Haha. Maybe thats why we all love her songs. Other than her beautiful voice, the beautiful composition and the music and the melody I mean.

I can't stop listening to Penakut now. Damnnnn.

Okay better get ready for work!

It's got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real

This. Wow.
Thanks Zaty :)

This

 

 and this

 

 She's amazing. I wish I am there to watch her perform live. That was simply breath-taking don't you think? She's such an inspiration. She's gone thru so much, and made a kick-ass come back. It was all worth the wait, and for her to choose herself earlier of the year is brilliant. After all, she's my fave out of all stars that came out of Disney Channel. Don't think that I'll stop listening to her. Since first album, and the third is coming out soon. Can't wait!

Solace my game, solace my game. It stars you, Swing wide your crane, swing wide your crane, And run me through

Currently on repeat: Ellie Goulding's version of The Wolves.

Listening to this over and over. And after awhile it felt like this is what I am feeling currently. Had less impact on me when I listen to the original version, sung by Bon Iver.

Maybe its her voice.

This is haunting. Love it.

Tanya sama pokok, apa sebab goyang? Jawab angin yang goncang, Terbang burung terbang,Patah sayap diduga, Seandainya rebah kau masih ada.

Currently listening to Meet Uncle Hussain feat Hazama's Pokok

And I know that none of it may really ever come true But in my mind, I'm havin' a pretty good time with you

Currently listening to Noah & The Whale's 5 years time


Oh in five years time we could be walking round a zoo
With the sun shining down over me and you
And there'll be love in the bodies of the elephants too
And I'll put my hand over your eyes, but you'll peek through

And there'll be sun sun sun
All over our faces
And sun sun sun
All over our bodies
And sun sun sun
All down my neck
Oh and sun sun sun
So what the heck

'Cause I'll be laughing at all your silly little jokes
And we'll be laughing about how we used to smoke
All those stupid little cigarettes
And drink stupid wine
'Cause it's what we needed to have a good time

But it was fun fun fun
When we were drinking
It was fun fun fun
When we were drunk
And it was fun fun fun
When we were dancing
It was fun fun fun
Oh it was fun

Well, then I look at you and say
It's the happiest that I've ever been
And I'll say I no longer feel I have to be James Dean
And she'd say
Yeah well I feel pretty happy too
And I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kicking back with you

And it'd be
Love love love
All through our bodies
And love love love
All through our minds
And it'll be love love love
All over her face
And love love love
All over mine

And though, if nearly all these moments are just in my head
I'll be thinking bout them as I'm lying in bed
And I know that none of it may really ever come true
But in my mind I'm havin' a pretty good time with you

Oh in 5 years time
I might not know you
In 5 years time
We might not speak
Oh in 5 years time
We might not get along
In 5 years time
You might just prove me wrong

But there'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love love love

Wherever you go there'll be love 

Currently listening to Kris Allen's version of Falling Slowly


I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud



p/s: time to de-stress :)

And in my best behavior, I am really just like him, Look beneath the floor boards, For the secrets I have hid .

Currently listening to Sufjan Stevens' John Wayne Gacy, Jr. 

I knew this guy, and this album since several years back. I guess that's the Pandora radio days. Chicago has always been one of my all time favorites. I think it was before Little Miss Sunshine. Because I remembered getting excited listening to the song in that movie.

It was as if I am the only person who knew the song earlier than every one else. Blergh.

But only now I actually start listening to the whole album. Slowly I got really caught up with almost every song in this album.

Sufjan Stevens? He is one awesome story teller. His songs make you want more from him. Make you want to be the characters in the songs. You can relate to them.

Even that song up there. That, is one haunting song. I was drawn by the melody of it. Then after awhile I got curious, so I started to google the title. And to my surprise, it was one quite disturbing story.

Check out the lyrics for the hints, or just wiki it to get the full story.

I love it how he tries to relate himself to the whole disturbing story. Hence why he came out with the verse I used as a title. Tersentap sekejap.

But from that moment onwards, I declare, this album? Is on my all-time fave albums list. Hands down. 

Bunda s'lalu tanamkan, Jangan pernah menyerah, Jalani dan panjatkan, Kelak syukur kau ucapkan

Currently on repeat: SO7's Lihat Dengar Rasakan

pada diri Nya
Kumohonkan
Mudahkan hidupnya hiasi dengan belai Mu
Sucikan tangan-tangan yang memegang erat harta
Terangi harinya dengan lembut mentari Mu
Buka genggaman yang telah menjadi hak mereka


I posted lyrics more than the rants I have everyday. Haha. Yet I still have not come out with a playlist. The thing with Mixpod is, quite a number of youtube stuff are blocked from being shared there. Makes things harder. Hurm.