Currently listening to The Script's Breakeven
I have been less and less active here since the early of the year. Well, I just couldn't find time and digest anything that I want to share here. Quite sad, really. But anyway, since I am trying my best not to whine as much (omg I'm always whining *sigh* see? I am whining about me being a whiner. sheesh) let's not elaborate on this and just move on. I can imagine a bunch of strangers screaming "Get on with it!". Like the scenes in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Have you watch that movie? Good for releasing tension. Lawak bodoh tapi best gile. Its on my fave funny movies list, along with Pineapple Express and Date Night :)
Okay, anyway.. I wonder, during the time I was inactive, I had quite a number of strangers commenting on my blog. I find it a bit weird as I don't think my blog is that interesting for strangers to be following it, or commenting on my posts. I am sorry if I don't approve the comments which are sincere, it's just that I am scared that they're just viruses. Well I am pretty certain about it. Tell me if I'm wrong okay?
Talking about being paranoid, since I got back I become more and more paranoid about everything. Like if I am walking to work from the station, or even if I am in the train, I was like holding my stuff as if someone will definitely come and grab them from me. I think sometimes strangers (esp men) around me are giving me looks as if they're going to hurt me somehow, and I always check under my bed to see if there are snakes resting or planning on attacking me (snakes are like my boogeyman :P). And yesterday there were like reflection of light flashing to my hand like someone flashing while I was doing some work using the laptop in the dark, and I started to think that someone outside of my room is flashing his/her flashlight to me. Okay there's more but I guess a few examples should be enough. If I were to list down all... it'll be endless.
Does anyone know how to get rid of this being paranoid problem? I don't like feeling unsafe all the time. There are times I would want to go to a place alone, like shopping alone, or maybe go and have lunch alone, but I can't seem to enjoy whatever I am doing all by myself because I feel unsafe. Actually I have this problem since forever, but it got worse and worse now. Even when I was in Wellington, once I strolled along the harbour alone to relax, and breathe the fresh air at night (sambil melayan blues :P) but then I just can't be relaxed as I always feel someone is following me at the back.
Sometimes I feel that I can't blame myself for being paranoid. For the past 3+ months, a black shiny snake "paid a visit" to my house, a stranger - a foreigner suddenly approached me and after like talking to me for a few minutes (which I have no idea why I responded to him), he asked for my number and claiming its for some "saving my ass" purposes (and I started to think of him as a drug pusher) and a colleague of mine was harrassed by a stranger in a train. Hence why I can't stop but to think that danger is always out there and its coming after me anytime soon. Nauzubillah.
Still, being too paranoid is not healthy right?
I have been less and less active here since the early of the year. Well, I just couldn't find time and digest anything that I want to share here. Quite sad, really. But anyway, since I am trying my best not to whine as much (omg I'm always whining *sigh* see? I am whining about me being a whiner. sheesh) let's not elaborate on this and just move on. I can imagine a bunch of strangers screaming "Get on with it!". Like the scenes in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Have you watch that movie? Good for releasing tension. Lawak bodoh tapi best gile. Its on my fave funny movies list, along with Pineapple Express and Date Night :)
Okay, anyway.. I wonder, during the time I was inactive, I had quite a number of strangers commenting on my blog. I find it a bit weird as I don't think my blog is that interesting for strangers to be following it, or commenting on my posts. I am sorry if I don't approve the comments which are sincere, it's just that I am scared that they're just viruses. Well I am pretty certain about it. Tell me if I'm wrong okay?
Talking about being paranoid, since I got back I become more and more paranoid about everything. Like if I am walking to work from the station, or even if I am in the train, I was like holding my stuff as if someone will definitely come and grab them from me. I think sometimes strangers (esp men) around me are giving me looks as if they're going to hurt me somehow, and I always check under my bed to see if there are snakes resting or planning on attacking me (snakes are like my boogeyman :P). And yesterday there were like reflection of light flashing to my hand like someone flashing while I was doing some work using the laptop in the dark, and I started to think that someone outside of my room is flashing his/her flashlight to me. Okay there's more but I guess a few examples should be enough. If I were to list down all... it'll be endless.
Does anyone know how to get rid of this being paranoid problem? I don't like feeling unsafe all the time. There are times I would want to go to a place alone, like shopping alone, or maybe go and have lunch alone, but I can't seem to enjoy whatever I am doing all by myself because I feel unsafe. Actually I have this problem since forever, but it got worse and worse now. Even when I was in Wellington, once I strolled along the harbour alone to relax, and breathe the fresh air at night (sambil melayan blues :P) but then I just can't be relaxed as I always feel someone is following me at the back.
Sometimes I feel that I can't blame myself for being paranoid. For the past 3+ months, a black shiny snake "paid a visit" to my house, a stranger - a foreigner suddenly approached me and after like talking to me for a few minutes (which I have no idea why I responded to him), he asked for my number and claiming its for some "saving my ass" purposes (and I started to think of him as a drug pusher) and a colleague of mine was harrassed by a stranger in a train. Hence why I can't stop but to think that danger is always out there and its coming after me anytime soon. Nauzubillah.
Still, being too paranoid is not healthy right?
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