When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part.

Currently listening to John Mayer's Dreaming with a Broken Heart

INCEPTION. The main reason why I love this movie is because of the storyline that revolves around one of my favorite topics - dreams.

One thing that I learn/started to believe from watching Inception is that, dreams are what YOU created from what you think about, or from your subconscious mind. They have NOTHING to do with signs or whatsoever.

It is one of the bitch slaps of reality that I got. Because before this, for every dream, a vivid one especially, I just can't help but to question myself "why?"

It felt as if there must be a message, or a reminder, or a sign behind every dream. So that kind of disturb me  for the whole day. Or maybe more. Well, being someone who loves to think too much.

There is a lot of things about dreaming that I learn from watching Inception. Honestly I don't know if they are actually factual, or just total made up just for the movie. Or maybe it could be some kind of a person's interpretation about a dream. But to me they make sense.

But I have to re-watch the movie to list down what about dreams that I learned. Heh. I haven't got the chance to watch it for the second time. Anyway,

So today, after quite a long time, I had one of those vivid dreams.

One thing about dreaming is that, there are the kinds of dreams that you love or you hate.

The ones I love are the kind of dreams that can make me smile, even if its just for awhile. Sometimes for me, to have dreams at night meaning your imagination still runs wild. And that's what I want - to still have imagination.

I enjoy having the the ones which do not make sense. Like for instance, the adventure type where I have to kill of zombies, or the one that I am friends with the Big Bang Theory nerds, and the sober Raj Koothrappali actually talked to me or maybe the fairy-tale type like me being the side kick to a prince to help a damsel in distress princess. I should have documented them down so probably if I am going to be dead broke one day I could be like JK Rowling, I can start writing. Then I can do something like Stephenie Meyer - where her Twilight Saga was inspired from her own dream. I was too late, because when I started putting them down in words since early last year then, somehow I just stopped dreaming.

The ones I hate? Are the ones about my tragic deaths or events, or the ones which I thought were real, but then I suddenly woke up and realize... the reality was nothing like the dream. Left me feeling so disturbed. Like today.

Maybe the impact on me is even bigger as I haven't had these kinds of dreams for some time.

And what disappoint me is that, I thought I believe differently now. But somehow when I woke up? It was as if I was made to believe that everything was really happening. Until I realize that, it is not. It won't. When I know it won't, I started questioning myself why? what is up with the dream?

Maybe because I want it so much to happen, so I want to believe there's an underlying sign behind it.

Well, right now I conclude yes there are signs behind the  dream - to remember not to wish for something I cannot have or to wish for an impossible thing to happen, to be grateful and to be reminded that DREAMS ARE OF YOUR OWN CREATION.

and it won't be long until you'll be running cause i'm evil.

Currently listening to Bat For Lashes' Siren Song

Last night was weird. Its like one moment I'm okay, laughing, talking and stuff. The next? It was as if I was intoxicated - more like walking sideways, felt like the world is moving wayy too fast then I threw up at the back of a building (not going to mention where :P)  - wasted much? lol. Didn't dare to drive home so called my parents asked them to come over and drove me home.

Thank God Nana was there to wait for me til my parents come. I don't know what will happen if she's not there. She's such a sweetheart ♥♥♥ love you bitch :D

Still have no idea what causes it. Doctor said it was migraine (I can have a long post talking about this. wasn't happy with her), parents suspect is the dinner cuz I kinda think the sashimi weren't so fresh and I don't like the Chawanmushi - but I never had prompt reaction to food before. Luqman : I dah agak dah you akan jatuh sakit. YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING TOO MUCH. Well I thought it could be because of my new powered club master. Although this problem occurred to me before, still it doesn't really make sense cuz I never got the chance to wear em yet. I've been trying on and off though so maybe that could be it?

All my life I remembered feeling super dizzy til I felt like throwing up/fainting or need to sit down and close my eyes on several occasions:

a) motion sickness - when I was small I cannot go through a long winding road without sleeping. Well actually up until now I still have the same prob, its not so severe now though. I still cannot sit inside a closed ferry as I need the fresh air. And I can't go on that tea cup ride. LOL.

b) jet lag - this happened when I was 11 on a trip to Gold Coast. But that's just one time.

c) changing my spectacles - once when I made a new one for myself (with new power) and after a few hours wearing it I started to see the world spinning - like being on that tea cup ride. That was horrible as I kinda need the new specs at the same time I can't wear them just yet. And I don't know if its related, I was doing my internship that time and I started not recognizing voices, and since I took off my glasses I can't see people much for that day, and had to endure the dizzyness at work. Pfft.

Ah well, anyway,

1. I think the past week has not been really good to me. 

2. TOO MUCH WORK yet here I am babbling. Can't seem to start though *sigh*. So maybe this will help. Let's hope it will.  

3. Do you know our "No-Pay-No-Say" trip to Malacca has been postponed? or maybe cancelled, I don't know :(

4. And most likely we won't be going to Langkawi too :((

5. I think my mom got fed up that my life revolves too much around work. Like when I know there's some free time it'll be for work. Well, its something that I gotta do. But... at the same time I kinda understand why she's not so happy about it. Sorry bu :(((

6. INCEPTION HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR AND I HAVEN'T MADE A POST ABOUT THEM.

7. Which reminds me, Oscars coming meaning - I have to find the following movies

• Social Network
• The King's Speech
• 127 Hours
• Black Swan
• Biutiful (for Javier Bardem's sake :P) 

And yes for the love of Jake Gyllenhaal I am looking for Love and Other Drugs. Anyone care to share?

8. I don't know why but I do wonder if Bruno Mars is gay. Maybe because deep down I find his songs are too good to be true. They are just what women always wanted to hear from a guy, and that's that. It is no real. Fine, I'm evil. I know. 

9. Work time. Time for work.