Note to self.

I have to learn to express my feelings.

Cuz I'm afraid I might live with regrets of not telling them how much I love them. My brothers (especially adam the manja one:p) can always just go to my mom and said "I love youuu ibuuu!" while me? I'll just look at her and smile. Or probably will just strike a conversation, merapu meraban and maybe pick up a fight with her. Sometimes I'll just hug her.

Thats the best I can do.

Even to my grandmother. Atok. We're counting the days. She can just go anytime soon. From what I heard from Adam, she's well (since she can cook with one disabled hand). Many times I think of ways on how I can just call her to say I love you.

It should be just a simple phone call. Tanya khabar, and before I end the conversation I'll just tell her "Atok, Farah sayannggg Atok"

But everytime I called her I'll end the conversation with "Tok jaga diri na, toksah dok buat kerja beghat2 dah. k? Kim salam kat Tok Wan eh. Assalamualaikum" or maybe just "Byeee atokk!!"

Especially when I got the message from my family that another grandmother, Nenek is sick, I cannot stop but thinking that I should start telling them how grateful I am to be their granddaughter, how sayang I am to them.

Not just to my grandmothers. But to everyone else too. My parents, my brothers, my other family members, my cats (but its easy to tell them I love you... haha) and to all my friends.

There are times when my mom tell me that she loves me, but I ended up either awkwardly replied to her "I love you too" or just "same here".. no wait.. same here? teruk nye :(

For me to say thank you is very easy. For me to say sorry is not that easy but usually the message will get to the other person anyway. The words "I'm sorry" will usually come out.

Saying sorry is waaayyy much easier than saying I love you.

weird kan? no?

I wonder how good my actions are to show to these people how much I love them. or maybe how much I feel sorry for them. Like saying goodbyes. I hardly show to people how sad I am when I am leaving or other people are leaving. Except when my cats died. I can cry like my husband has died.

I wonder why is it so easy to express my feelings towards cats.

Ah well...

I have 20 minutes before the next class starts. I brought a book to read with me today (wooww..) but apparently it was a wrong idea to go the computer lab first.

Enjoy your Tuesday everyone! And to the Wellingtonians, enjoy your Wet Tuesday =)