You know,

That feeling you get when there is someone who needs you at that very moment but you couldn't be there for him/her due to unavoidable circumstances. That feeling you get when you are 'standing' in front of a situation, or 'on a fence' and not knowing which side you should be on, whether you should be standing by this one and go against the other or vice versa.

They don't make you feel great. Instead, you'll feel pretty much confused, awful, helpless, and useless. Stupid even.

To be honest, that is how I feel right now.

And with such 'perfect timing' I manage to finish off the one I've been reading for the past two weeks during my train rides (Shall I thank the bad traffic just now?). I don't know. The ending somehow left me with more confusion that I already have earlier on.

The book made me more hopeful than ever while immersing myself into the lives of the characters. Then everything ended. Just like that. My hopes were all crushed. I'm crushed too.

... ah well. Ain't life a bitch. Well I know that. Life is unfair. And another thing I know is that, God is not. He is fair. So I shall seek out for His comfort.