You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.

There's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond

From black dust

It's hard to know

It can become

If you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just promise me you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? Ohh

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

 

For you, whomever you may be. And I hope you're doing fine. 

In times of great stress, it’s always wise to keep busy, to plow your anger and frustration into something positive.

Of reading thought catalog.

That's one thing about me.

I am more into what's in others' minds rather than what's factual, what's really happening in this world.
I am more into how people express how they feel, than what information they have to offer and share.
I am more into their deeper thoughts of themselves, rather than what they think about the current issues.

Not that I don't read about other things, I do, there are times when I get obsessed with current issues so I'll start reading on how others view the issue, what's the issue about etc.. but lengthy comments and information about something may make you feel so overwhelmed. Which sometimes I prefer having a conversation about it, rather than reading them.

These thoughts of others? They're precious, usually they're not something talked about out in the open, with random people.

And sometimes they were not expressed correctly if you were to have a conversation about it. I don't know, maybe that's just me? Haha. I really need to take time to let out how I really feel. And apparently I suck at writing about it too. Pretty much I just don't know how to express. Hence why I am drawn to these deeper thoughts of others too - they write so well.

However, to have a conversation about it? That's one of the best that you can have. Precious conversation.

Which I don't get lately. Heck, actually to be honest, I have been longing to have a really good conversation. About anything and everything really, from something about the world to something about ourselves. But if possible, I want these endless conversations with just one person.

One day, I will :)

It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance. You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work. But you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Sometimes you just have to go for it!

Empati Tamako - The Trees & The Wild

mereka akan berkata

kesedihanmu akan pergi

terhempas angin selatan

yang penuh debu

terbawa sampai

ufuk timur

terjauh

dan kau akan terdiam

bertanya dalam hati

kapan ini ‘kan

berakhir dan terbawa sampai

ufuk timur

terjauh

dan kau

pernah melangkahkan kaki

dan sejengkal sadar

dan melantunkan

terang yang kau dambakan,

hilanglah semua yang kau tanya

I first got to know the band, and this song from Urbanscapes. Not knowing the title of the song I began looking for it all over the internet - and I failed.

Until today.

Finally found it.

All the feelings I had when I first watched this came back rushing in. To be honest, by far, that's the best live performance I've ever witness my whole life. Maybe cuz I came with no expectation. I didn't even know they're performing.

I have no words to explain how I felt that night. It's just beyond words.

Then now that I found the song, I can really listen to the lyrics.  Whoa.

It's one of those songs which explains exactly how you feel or what you're going through, at that exact point of time.

No wonder.

Life is way more enjoyable when you stop trying to be cool and simply focus on being yourself.

I am turning 25 soon.

So it's another round of reflection is in progress.
Maybe this time, I will write them down. In detail.
And hoping this time, I will find what I am, and have been looking for.

My lost dreams.

You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.

Another chance at redemption.
I'm actually embarrassed, thinking about how many chances that I blew off. And I keep blowing off every chances I get. And I am still unsure if I am using the chances right.

I just failed again a few days back. And today I feel like I am failing again.

Failure, is what I have to get used to. I have been failing so many times in this short period of time. Especially during the past 3 years of my life.

I am not used to it, every time felt like the first time.

Well, I guess I will just keep on trying.

With the right sincere niat, I believe every chance is going to be worth it.

Funny, how failure is my greatest fear, and I have to go through it every so often these days. And I don't know how I feel about that. And I don't know how I can actually go through it so many times. I am wondering.

Don’t regret intimate relationships that don’t work out. Because they will only help you find the right partner for you, and better appreciate them for everything they do and everything they are.

How can you get yourself so attach to someone who isn't attach to you at all?
Well, some may say this is just an illusion, probably you're too engrossed in your ideals, rather than the reality itself.

I don't know.

Used to think that way until I fell into the trap. And I am stuck in it for a long time.

Though I am not sure if I am still lost. Maybe I am. However I know I'll find my way out. I know I have to believe these;

Selfless love is a beautiful thing.
Unrequited love is where we can find beauty in a most painful situation.
The process is just natural. Probably everyone has to get thru this stage at one point of time in their lives, and I am blessed to be going through it when my heart can still take it all in. Although it is now so much weaker, at least it is learning to gather more strength to be stronger.
And I don't lose anything. Because I learn to love, or learning to be more exact, and I am learning not to expect anything else in return. And that's also how I found peace.
Every challenges, every trials, every calamity; they're all blessings in disguise.
And I got myself closer to You. Alhamdulillah.

I am not going to deny that my heart is yearning. And it is still not ready to let go. But I am holding on to You, knowing  that You know what is best for me.

All I am doing now is to get ready. For you, whomever you may be.

And I hope you're doing fine :)

Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future for too long. Right now is life. Live it.

That very moment when you're pretty much confused with your own feelings.

What is this feeling?
Am I sad?
Or happy?
Or is this contentment?
Aren't I supposed to be depressed?
Or am I just numb?
Or am I ignoring the feeling I am supposed to have?

Is that even possible to begin with?

Hm.

And I am unsure if I ever felt this before.
Well I am unsure of a lot of things too.

Better start re-evaluating, again.

Never let success get to your head, and never let failure get to your heart.

It's one of my self-realizations of the month. 

So I made a promise to myself. 

To try and turn things around for this new cycle.

Have always been a broken record. But let's give it another try. 

Let me fail again if I must, but I will never stop trying.

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

So I changed the layout of my tumblr. Not the background, just the layout.

Love it. Felt like it's more me.

Anyhoo the downside is that I can't seem to make the tags appear. But that's okay, because it is only me who wants to keep the tags, or actually that one particular tag.

And I have bookmarked it. So I'm good to go :)

If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s how dreams are achieved.

Considering to own these:

1) A typewriter
2) An iPad
3) A new 2013 planner.

On my to-do list:

1) Service that sewing machine.
2) Buy one set of film to use Ayah's SLR.
3) Transform this messy room.