Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head.

Currently listening to Florence + The Machine's Dog Days are Over



2010: the toughest year yet.

Anyway, here's to the new year. I don't think I celebrate it that much, maybe just a lil hyped up sumtimes but not every time, cuz I know usually I'll be home sleeping and miss all the pretty fireworks. To me, its just a timeline - I'll go by yearly basis in making plans. I do make huge plans for future but to achieve those, like everyone else, year to year basis is the reasonable way to go.

Usually during the New Year Eve, what I'll look for is fireworks. Just because I love them. Before I do look forward for "doing the first thing when we entered the new year" stuff. If you get what I mean. But now? Its still just another year older. Only when you know you become older, your time is running out. Hence the planning.

Well, okay, briefly, I would say despite all the emotional breakdowns, the complains, the point I felt like a failure, I still got through most things. I am constantly reminded by the surroundings, the situations I've encountered and what I wanted to be for this year - to be fearless, so I just keep my chin up and move on. I am not all proud of myself, but I think I have given my best.

I am not too sure on how much have I learned. But I know that I've learned, well at least, something. Quite a lot maybe.

But yeah, my dog days are over.

And my motto for 2011: to get inspired. to be inspired. and to inspire the rest. 

I need you now, do you think you can cope?

Currently listening to Matchbox20's Mad Season

this is pretty :) Happy Holidays peeps!

And suddenly I feel that this song is exactly what I am trying to express. It is a definitely a mad season, and I don't think it'll end anytime soon. Whenever I thought I am seeing rainbows I realized, its a mirage.

Instead I see the rain - not the kind that I love. Well, I have love-hate relationship with rain. So it's the same with my life, especially work life.

Alhamdulillah, months have passed, although I am struggling, trying to meet expectations that are overwhelming and getting more and more ridiculous day by day (sometimes), I think pretty much I still survived. I can't say a lot now, I really have to pass this season only to conclude on how I performed.

Everything is like a yo-yo - it goes up and down so fast even I can't keep up. Seems that they have decided to be girls - with mood swings.

Like today, good news and bad news all come at the same time. I don't know if I should be celebrating, or continue mourning. It's like that.

I find myself trying to go "against the current" on a lot of things than to just become who I think I am supposed to be - but honestly, no matter how much I am trying to be a rebel, slowly I am losing, and become... a workaholic. Sometimes when I get the momentum I just go along, have sleepless nights, "walking on clouds", and still be energetic. Then when the momentum gone? Its like I just couldn't care less anymore.

Hah. I realized that I am becoming more and more nostalgic. Maybe its because year end is approaching so I am starting to do my own review - 2010 review.

A year has passed so very quickly. And I think I have been running in circles. Can't even measure how much have I grown in 1 year; Sometimes I feel like I learned a lot, and sometimes its like I've learned nothing at all.

So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I, I, I feel stupid?

Just the thought of you can drive me wild, Ohh you make me smile :)

currently listening to Uncle Kracker's Smile