Why don't you be the artist; and make me out of clay? Why don't you be the writer and decide the words I say?

Currently listening to Ellie Goulding's The Writer

Just a really wild thought.
Sometimes I do wonder,
Will my husband-to-be get to meet my grandparents? Both sides, my dad's and my mom's.

But I know I can't wait to introduce him to them.

p/s: I know its a bit weird to be talking about someone non-existent. haha. Like I said, just a really wild thought :P

Adding up a challenge for myself.

She paid a visit, and just left a couple of days ago to Auckland. Sunday is going to be her last day here. The reason why she's here? Backpacking, for a month, Alone.

How cool is that?

One of the things that I really want to do before I die is to travel alone. I mean not just boarding on a plane alone to meet other people you know when you arrived. I wanna go visit a place or several places, and stayed there for couple of days, or maybe a week, or weeks, or months (okay that is ambitious) and I don't care where exactly that I want to go, it can be just a small beautiful island in my home country, or somewhere so far away. But actually it's fun to go to the one which is far away, it's even better if you go to the place which you don't even know the language.

Okay I love to imagine myself going to a place where I don't even understand what they're talking about and actually found someone who's a very nice cute guy nice enough to show me around, and in the end we become lovers good friends. Like (everyone guessed it) in the movies.

Well, to be in a place like that, is a very good challenge actually. But yeah, that is pretty ambitious too. Ah, I don't care. Anywhere will do. I just want to do it alone.

But that's the question that I have to ask myself; do I have the guts to do it?

I realized, I was never really alone. Okay coming here years ago was one of the biggest step I've made and done; moving from my own home to live at a totally unfamiliar place full of strangers. But then it didn't take long, not even a day for me to find new friends to be with. Alhamdulillah, I thank God for the peeps of my own batch. Yeah that's the thing. The stuffs I do alone so far was just you know, going to classes, studying at the library in between classes, walking back home or to uni, settling stuffs, and the longest time I spent time with myself alone is to travel back to my home country, or to come back here after the holidays.

And yeah, I still have that 'uneasy feeling' of talking to strangers that I see/met randomly, like at the cafes or in the public transports. I will bring a book, or a magazine with me if I were to eat alone. So I can be the perfect shy-untalkative-girl if you strangers saw me alone. Like I don't favour social interactions. Like I am a loner.

Sometimes I wonder how my mom does it. You know, just simply talk to strangers sometimes. She's wayy too friendly than I am. I can be a really awkward kind of person, you know, the one that can give you a big dew drop at the back of the head (like the japanese animes, I don't know how to describe that thing) or maybe left you with a big harmonious crickets sounds as the background music. Basically, I am a slow starter. There are times where I can give you a fast start, but only if I feel comfortable with the surroundings.

So what if I am just alone in a big busy city with just strangers, no familiar faces around me? I bet that's going to be rough. Probably I'll just end up talking to birds, or the stray cats that I saw while walking.

Probably I'll just stay on one particular spot, the one that I feel most comfortable. That will most likely be the motel room or just the bed right? Haha. Exploring will just be out of my to-do list.

Okay I think that's too much. If I wanna do this, I just have to prepare myself. Be brave. Positive. And just have fun. I have to gather all my guts and just do it. But when will that be? I don't know. Let's see. I need to have money, so because of that I have to work. Obviously not in the near future lah.

Kak Shaz inspires me to do what she'd done. I mean, I always want to do it, and when she's here, it just encouraging me more. She's so brave, and until now, I feel so proud of her. To be able to do that alone.

To Kak Shaz (with hope you're reading this), I really hope you enjoyed your stay here. I mean, there were not many places that I showed you around, and I hope I was being a good host. I felt guilty for just leaving you at home/alone not doing anything much. And really hope you'll come again before I go back to Malaysia for good. And during my holidays ke. So I can really take you to see other further places, and travel with you together. It's been fun having you around, and I thank you for visiting me. It feels so nice having a family member to be close/near to me when I am thousands miles away from my number one home.

And I am soo glad that you really love this:

I know you'll miss this, and I don't mind drinking it for you everyday. Its so freaking awesome even I can't get enough of it. And it's been years. Haha.

Selamat pulang ke Tanahair =)

Okay I think I have written a long post. And I am quite pleased with myself for this. I just want to have this vibe of blogging to share my everyday lives in this blog. Once I went through the posts I had, I realized lately I have become a broken record, I keep on repeating stuffs.

Hopefully this one is not something that I have repeated tho =P

Speaking of traveling, I can't wait for my exams to end (altho I don't study that much, will get back on to the books later...) so I can plan my holidays! Should I go somewhere cold, but has a fantastic view and has the highest bungy place ever (Queenstown) or somewhere a lot warmer to see Juju in Brisbane?

hmm... but I have to find ka-ching! first... so sad.

p/s: I wonder why but I never get bored of The Click Five's Empty. It is on repeat now. Okay I need to study.

May you rest in peace.

Another member of Atok Aziz Clan has just passed away 2 days ago. He was admitted to the hospital about 2 wks + ago, and we were hoping he'll recover.

But Allah loves him more.

You're quite close to us, especially to my brothers Adam & Luqman. It feels like I just lost a brother.

Salam Takziah to Muadz family; Pak Andak, Mak Andak, Ammar, Iffah, Aliya, Aiman, Ummu Asiyah, Ghofur, Kak Anisah. May his soul rest in eternal peace and may almighty give you and your family the strength to bear this irreplaceable loss.

Al-Fatihah.

I miss everyone back home. My cuzzens, aunties, uncles. My grandparents. And especially, My parents, and my dear brothers.

Sweetness.

Do you know what makes me feel great?

1. Getting a chance snapping a picture of her:

She's a beauty. The prettiest cat I've ever own. But she hardly stays at home because she and Clarice (who is always around) can't get along at all. She doesn't stay still that much. Makes it harder to snap a photo of her =(

She's a bit weird. She doesn't know how to play with us, I always get scratches from her. At times she wants attention, but not too much or else she'll chase you away. Right after I took this photo, I petted her, and she got mad.

*sigh* Ollie, Ollie. I just don't know how to get close to you.

2. To get a hair treatment. After a year of not visiting a hair salon. Bliss, ok.

3. Wearing this pants:

Its the most comfortable pants ever! Oh and those stuffs are on my favorite stuffs list. My beading box (and all the beading stuffs inside, on the top etc), my NDS.

4. To be able to make these:

But I am still at the stage of learning, so I am now practicing to make them with a better quality. Especially painting the box. I need to learn to be detailed too. And I need a lot of patience in doing all these stuffs (and thats what I am lacking... *sigh*). Its a loong way to go.

I learn to make these accessories from Kak Shaz. She's my cuzzen who owns Saya Sukalah . I mentioned about her before . Go on, check out her stuffs, they're nice =)

Since she came to Bangi to teach me (and at the same time she joined the decorative painting classes), she also teaches Zalika, Fash, their mothers, my mom's friends and also Zalika's sisters.

Even this cute girl Nana learns how to make accessories. And she has a good taste!

I candid her picture of her sucking out the push-pop. Didn't get the chance to take a photo of her with her new handmade stuffs. Will do that soon. hehe. Oh this girl is pretty artistic. She also joins my decorative painting classes. Hebat.

So what do you guys think of the stuffs I made? Just leave me a comment k? =D

I spent a lot on them! Especially the beads; I can just go crazy if I go to the shop. I spent hours and hours choosing. But memang rambang mata ok!

Maybe I should consider selling them. Do you guys think I can sell those stuffs?

By the way, say if you're interested to learn all these stuffs, just let me know okay. Or maybe you can visit Saya Sukalah and contact my cuzzen Shaz.

5. Using Google Chrome.

Its just awesome! But sometimes I can get annoyed with it as I am not used to it. Trying to shift from Mozilla to GC. Not bad.

6. To be able to blog using my serviced, and reformatted laptop! Ah best gila. And... I have organized 18.7GB worth of songs. I manage to clear up from 2000+ songs to 1800+. But I think there's still some files of the same song inside. Now I need to organize the photos and stuffs in My Documents.

I aim to be organized this year. For someone messy like me, theres MANY things need to be organized. Including labels for this blog.

7. Met a lot of people today! Thanks to Sufya & Aim for inviting me to your wedding reception XD

Okay that is all for now. Goodnight everyone! I need to sleep (although I don't feel like sleeping yet). I should blame myself for taking the afternoon nap just now.

I shall practice playing Tetris now. I need to beat the CPU @ level 4. haha.

Goodnight!

The 7 year old.

So we went to my uncle's farm yesterday. the kambings, as usual, are soo adorable! especially the few days old babies. I just feel like bringing them home as pets!

comel kan? the kambing i mean. I'm trying to imitate a kambing's face. Tak jadi of course :P

At the farm, we met a girl. She's 7 and she's super talkative! The amazing part is, she talks about teenagers' stuffs. Should I say amazing? Like she talks about how to use YouTube and watch that "How To Be Emo" clips, I mean, when I'm 7, I don't care to use the computer unless I want to play games. And she knows how to surf the net already! Amazing kan? But actually, that is not too surprising as my neighbour who is also 7 knows how to use YM. I'm already surprised before. haha.

Kids nowadays. They're too advanced I think. Like this girl, she talks about how she finds Zac Efron & Rob Pattinson are hot. She even screamed "Zac Efron I love youuu!!! aaaa". Funny2. I don't think I give a damn on who's handsome and who's not (when I'm her age). hahaha. I am more concern about my barbies, polly pockets, and my fights with fash. Oh one more thing, she can sing Shakira's hips don't lie. How's that? And she wants to wear a tube dress if she can perform that in Tom Tom Bak. Hebat tak? I don't know what is a tube dress until I enter high school. Am I late or she is so advance??

Through-out the series of conversations with her, we knew that she's a die-hard-fan of High School Musical. And she started to name us based on the characters. She thinks Juju should be Sharpay and I should be Gabriella. Lawak gile ok. Then she continued "akak, kalau akak nak jadi Gabriella akak tak boleh pakai tudung lahh..."

And she started to called Juju Sharpay and she called me Gabriella. How cute..

Okay that is one.

Then she talks about Twilight and that is when she started to drool for Edward. "Hensem nyerr Edward tu! I nak jadi Bella lahh," she said. I was like.. wow, a 7 yr old watch Twilight? Okay maybe its something kids would enjoy. Altho I think if I am a kid I won't be bothering to watch that kind of movie and ended up drooling for Edward.

After that she started to give us boyfriends. She said Juju's boyfriend should be Troy and my boyfriend should be Edward Cullen. haha. I am Bella to her now. Then again, she said the same thing "Tapi kalau akak nak jadi Bella, akak tak boleh pakai tudung laa.."

I sighed. Kids.

I still cannot accept the fact that they're now more advanced. hahahaha.

I should start registering that fact into my head.

1996

Ma'ngah posted this on Facebook.

Finally I got the full picture.

And so some of the Atok Aziz Clan has started to post up comments on this photo:

many years ago..
now ade yg dah kawin..
hhehe imagine that..

hahaaaa...ada yang dah kawen.
ada yang dah pregnant.
and ada yang nak kawin ujung tahun nih.

what year was that?
now pokok belakang dah gone dah..
ganti wit atoks gazeebo..

Adam reckons its the '96 picture. My hair is always the same; til I turn 11 as it gets a little bit longer and at the age of 13, as I started to get bob-cut. Plus, I was kneeling (I may vanish from the pic, or probably you'll see a very little bit of me if I sit) so I don't know how tall I was. Alah, not that I can tell from my height. It was more or less the same til I reached puberty. Maybe I gain height from time to time but not as much. So I can't tell how old I was at that time. However, I still think he's right. Firdaus looked like he's one year old. And Adam started to wear his glasses when he's in Year 4 - and that was in '95. And the first glasses were 'cooler' than that one. Haha.

Well, I am pretty sure its '96 now cuz I suddenly noticed Arwah Ehsan. He's still a baby. He passed away at the age of 11. And that was last year. Basically he was born on July '96. Maybe this was taken at the end of the year. or probably early '97.

Ah whateff. Don't think 'what year is that' really matter to me. Probably I'll wait til they confirmed it. No time to waste, I have to start with my stuffs.

Hah I used whateff. That sounds cool, no? Poyo ah.

Anyway, we're all have grown up. And our family has expanded with more additions into this clan.

Some have started working. Some have graduated. Some still stuck in schools. Back then, we were running around Atok's house. Now we don't, instead we do our new routine; talking, crapping and laughing. Haha. Or probably watching the small ones running around the house. Or bully them?

Last year Allah took one person from us, but this year he sent a few more to join our "Atok Aziz Clan". Alhamdulillah. Rezeki kan tu?

To the newbies, welcome to our clan. Haha.

But the one who left will always be missed. Al-Fatihah.

I am feeling a bit nostalgic now. I miss them so much.

And... I'm getting older. Noo.. don't wanna be an adult!